Excerpt

From the introduction

Why I wrote this book

This book exists because of how many coaching books I’ve put down halfway through. There are good ones — thoughtful ones — packed with neuroscience, frameworks, models, case studies, and careful footnotes. I’ve read a lot of them over the years, and I’ve taught from a few of them.

For almost every aspiring coach I’ve worked with — managers wanting to lead better, parents wanting to listen better, or professionals exploring whether to make this their craft — those books are simply too much. The information is often right. The size of the door is wrong.

It assumes you have a life that’s already full, with conversations that are already happening, and people in front of you who are already worth your attention. It doesn’t ask you to memorize techniques or pass an exam. It asks you to do what coaches actually do, in the conversations you’re already having — starting with the next one.

The shape of it is simple: read a chapter, try one thing, notice what happened, then read another chapter and try another thing. The chapters are short because they should be, and the exercises are small because small is what gets done, and the reflections are honest because honesty is the surest way you’ll grow.

You don’t need permission to start practicing. The people in your life are your practice ground. None of this is a preamble to “real coaching” — it is the coaching, every single time.

How to read this book

The book has three parts, and they aren’t interchangeable — they build on each other deliberately. Part one is about the doing (questions, mindset, presence, listening, curiosity, silence). Part two is about structure (how a coaching conversation shapes itself). Part three is about taking it forward (depth, feedback, reflection, growth over time).

You don’t have to read the whole book before you start practicing. In fact, please don’t. Read a chapter, try one thing, notice what happened, and let the next chapter wait until you’re ready for it.